A sweet sour experience

7 months into my 1st Graduate employment, and I find my company is recuperating from a major down slide in the market. And ever so often when a plc faces such a situation, the organisation goes through a major organisational re-structuring, which often leads to a fixed-costs cutting measure, and redundancies. Leading on from the events, my position in the company was listed as one of the positions being "at risk of being made redundant". Quite heavy stuff for me to handle during my first graduate employment, honestly. I had a weekend to think over the facts, and the tuesday following I was informed that my position had been wrongly listed, as my job role had not been recognised correctly. I could not help but breathe a sigh of relief.

But the 5 day ordeal had put me in a more so uncomfortable position than just facing the risk of losing my current job. The knowledge of the fact that there are some 30 odd positions that are at risk, and the high possibility that atleast 1 out 6 of those positions being terminated was very discomforting. Anybody facing the risk of losing their job, will inevitably wish it dint happen to them, but the bullet which misses you is going to hit someone else, and that gives me a knot in my stomach.

The 5 days was a hard deal trying to find a balance in my thoughts and prayers, but at the end of it I can't help but wish me nor anyone should have to go through such a situation again. When i was informed on tuesday that i was no longer "at risk" of losing my employment, I knew the bullet had missed me, but i am ever so afraid of what i would find when I turn back to look. The overwhelming sense of relief is stopped hard by a fierce sense of helplessness, when I look at the smoking gun.